Barney Stinson

You know? Those gym leaders really aren't so hard.

I mean, I've barely battled in my time here, and yet I walked in and managed to walk away with this:



And I don't mean to brag, but Whitney? She didn't shed a tear.



[Those of you in and around Goldenrod may see Barney wandering around today with Whitney on his arm. While he's not treating it like a date, she certainly is, and couldn't be happier. Barney in the meantime, looks exhausted. It's been a very long date complete with shopping, training pokemon, and Barney taking her to the game corner, and then dinner on top of that.

The price of getting a gym badge.

During Dinner, Ted the Totodile will getting a hold of the gear, and accidentally uploading a video to the network. It is a video of Barney's win. Which is mostly pure luck as Barney is yelling out a flurry of confusing commands and his pokemon scrambling to obey. Most noticeable is Barney's Ledyba, who just flat out ignores Barney in favor of winning in it's own way.

Really, any trainer who takes this seriously would be offended. But that's not going to stop Barney from being smug about it.]

[Hello Johto! Today on Barney's blog you are receiving the rarest of all things, a travel entry. Yes, Barney has had an eventful last while what with crazy parties and floods and fourth walls breaking. Barney still isn't sure what to make of that weekend, since he's missing three days and all he can remember is zombies and boobs, but that is beside the point. He's on Route 39 now, and has been for about two days.]

Hey everyone! Can you see this place? This is a completely unnatural landscape. Look at it. It's flat. Completely and utterly flat. There is nothing here.

[He waves the camera around to reveal the boring flat farmland. And more than a few Murkrows. Maybe an odd Houndour if they're around.]

This has got to be the most boring thing ever, and it's all I've been seeing for like two days! That's not right! This place sucks. I never would have left Goldenrod if I'd have known that this is what I would have had to deal with. I'm going nuts out here since there is absolutely nothing interesting here! Just farms and music and a whole lot of nothing. The music isn't helping by the way. Really, it's not. God this sucks.

[There's a sigh as Barney stops ranting for a bit and walks for a bit, the screen simply showing the road. He then stops and appears on the screen again.]

So, anyone know how long it takes to get back to Goldenrod from Oli-whatever? 

[More walking and then another brief stop]

Oh yeah, I scored with the Olivine Joy, so that's four Joys now, what up?

[He goes back to walking for a bit. Think he's done? Not quite.]

Have there always been this many birds around? 

Well Readers, another year come and gone. Hard to believe we've reached 2009 already. [yes, it is 2009 for him]

Of course I didn't expect spending half of it stuck in a video game from the 90's. I'd like to say that stranger things have happened, but that really isn't the case. Looking back, I figure this may be some sort of punishment for me, but I think I deserve some forgiveness now. I already got hit by a bus.

Still, this world isn't bad. I mean, I finally made it to Goldenrod City, which is actual civilization. Streets, cars, skyscrapers, a bar, a casino. This place is awesome. And the girls here aren't that bad. Speaking of which, Junpei, 45, plus I scored with the Nurse Joy here, so 46.

I always like to have a resolution or two for the New Year. This year, I think I'll resolve to meet more of you lovely ladies on the network. And be awesome. Oh wait. I already am.