usedsuitup: (Unimpressed)
[Hello Johto! Today on Barney's blog you are receiving the rarest of all things, a travel entry. Yes, Barney has had an eventful last while what with crazy parties and floods and fourth walls breaking. Barney still isn't sure what to make of that weekend, since he's missing three days and all he can remember is zombies and boobs, but that is beside the point. He's on Route 39 now, and has been for about two days.]

Hey everyone! Can you see this place? This is a completely unnatural landscape. Look at it. It's flat. Completely and utterly flat. There is nothing here.

[He waves the camera around to reveal the boring flat farmland. And more than a few Murkrows. Maybe an odd Houndour if they're around.]

This has got to be the most boring thing ever, and it's all I've been seeing for like two days! That's not right! This place sucks. I never would have left Goldenrod if I'd have known that this is what I would have had to deal with. I'm going nuts out here since there is absolutely nothing interesting here! Just farms and music and a whole lot of nothing. The music isn't helping by the way. Really, it's not. God this sucks.

[There's a sigh as Barney stops ranting for a bit and walks for a bit, the screen simply showing the road. He then stops and appears on the screen again.]

So, anyone know how long it takes to get back to Goldenrod from Oli-whatever? 

[More walking and then another brief stop]

Oh yeah, I scored with the Olivine Joy, so that's four Joys now, what up?

[He goes back to walking for a bit. Think he's done? Not quite.]

Have there always been this many birds around? 
usedsuitup: (Says it all really)
[The feed clicks on, although Barney isn't really paying attention, so you can't really see much except for the sky, and maybe Barney's leg occasionally. You can also hear some humming. Sound familiar? Yeah, It's a Small World has been stuck in his head since Wednesday. He's been trying to get it unstuck, and failing, so now he's trying to reinvent the tune to fit the background music. Not going so well.

However, Barney's pretty chipper right now. He's out of bed and over his cold, and he's managed to make some money working at the Pokemon Center for the past week. He's bought himself a nice track suit, because obviously suits don't belong in the woods and he needs to save them for Goldenrod. So now he's out on Route 32 to investigate something.

While he did promise to meet Smoker in Azalea for drinks, the promise of Goldenrod has lured him, and after looking at the map, he should be able to get there quite easily from Violet. Why is everyone going around? Obviously, he has to go figure this out. So he's at the Sudowoodo crossing now]


That's it? People are going around because of a tree? Lame. Ted, take it out.

[The Totodile rises to the challenge. Barney has learned, after several water guns to the face, just how powerful his little croc can be. Ted unleashes a wave of of water, which hits the tree. Which turns around, glaring at Barney. And launches himself at him. Not at the pokemon. At Barney]


SUDOWOODO!!!!

[The pokegear flies off to the side, but is soon righted by Ted, who is now recording the ensuing battle. And for a city boy who is much more a lover than a fighter, Barney's putting up a pretty good fight. He's getting cheered on by his other pokemon, except for Robin the Pidgey, who's just ashamed, and his Shuppet, who's pretty amused by his trainer right now. Sentret and Ted are supportive though, and gibberish is appearing on the bottom of the screen as Ted attempts to blog this.

Finally Barney manages to get away, and grabs a pokeball, hoping to make another capture. No dice. The pokeball goes back to Barney, who catches it with his face and promptly faints. The Sudowoodo goes back to where it was standing in a huff. There's a stunned silence]

[Finally Barney wakes up]


What the hell was that thing? Feels like  I was hit by another bus. 
usedsuitup: (Unimpressed)

[So, you probably didn't see much of  Barney the week. That was due to the fact that he to was hit by the event as well, and hasn't been doing very well since, not necessarily psychologically, but physically. Hallucinations did happen, and he was visited by a very haunting melody from his past that shall not be talked about, and basically, Ted and Robin getting back together, and then them and Marshall and Lily leaving him alone forever. He was in a stupor and so Ted the Totodile figured that the best way to wake Barney up was multiple water guns to the face. On a cold foggy night. Although he won't admit it, Barney is sick. One of those nasty colds that won't go away.

However, he was found by the authorities and taken to the pokecenter in Violet where he is being well cared for by a Nurse Joy. The Video shows him lying in his bed at the pokemon center, looking rather pathetic, since he is trying to milk this for all it's worth. Even though he won't admit to that. When he speaks, he even sounds sick. Seriously, read this imagining the most pathetic stuffed up sounding voice you can imagine.]

Just to let everyone know, I'm alright. I got caught in that fog last week, and well, stuff happened. *sniff* I'm not sick though.

When I get sick, I stop being sick and be awesome instead. *sniff* True story. *coughing fit* *sniiiiiiffff*

Oh god, this sucks.

[He pauses and then holds up a pokeball]

I think I might have caught a pokemon but I'm not sure which one.  Anyone want to take bets on what's in here?

*cough cough sniff groan cough sniff*
usedsuitup: (Here we go)
[Barney has just arrived in New Bark Town after leaving the hospital in New York. (ie; walking through the doors brought him here). He has received his trainer orientation, but is still confused. He's tried to use the pokegear to call home, but it's not working, and he accidentally left it on]

Okay….this is not what I was expecting when I got out of the hospital. I expected the streets of New York! Not some dumpy backwards town in the middle of nowhere. How’d I even get here? The hospital was still in the city.

It doesn’t even look like there’s even a bar here. A town without a bar! This sucks. It sucks beyond suck. I don’t even have a suit, that’s how much it sucks. Marshall, this better not be a dumb joke or something! Same to you, Ted!

[there’s a pause, as he notices his Totodile gazing up at him]

What do you want, bro? [another pause] Oh, heh, this thing's on.

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