I mean, I've barely battled in my time here, and yet I walked in and managed to walk away with this:
And I don't mean to brag, but Whitney? She didn't shed a tear.
[Those of you in and around Goldenrod may see Barney wandering around today with Whitney on his arm. While he's not treating it like a date, she certainly is, and couldn't be happier. Barney in the meantime, looks exhausted. It's been a very long date complete with shopping, training pokemon, and Barney taking her to the game corner, and then dinner on top of that.
The price of getting a gym badge.
During Dinner, Ted the Totodile will getting a hold of the gear, and accidentally uploading a video to the network. It is a video of Barney's win. Which is mostly pure luck as Barney is yelling out a flurry of confusing commands and his pokemon scrambling to obey. Most noticeable is Barney's Ledyba, who just flat out ignores Barney in favor of winning in it's own way.
Really, any trainer who takes this seriously would be offended. But that's not going to stop Barney from being smug about it.]
They still make VHS? God, you'd think with all the technology they have here, they'd have caught up to the twenty first century.
[However, he recovers quickly, and scoops up the camera]
Hey there Johto! How's it going?
You know, a lot of weird things have been going on lately. Especially with the whole pokemon powers epidemic that happened not too long ago. And that got me thinking that we are all under a lot of stress and that really, everyone needs a night off.
And so, ladies and gentlemen of Johto, I, Barney Stinson, propose a Bad Movie Night! A chance for everyone to sit back, relax, and rip apart the cinema of Johto for being just that horrible. I mean seriously, look at this.
[He holds up the video he found. A VHS affair of the classic film Ekans on a Plane.]
Who would pass up the chance to provide commentary on the pokemon version of this wonderful film? Staring, I might add, the pokemon version of Samuel L. Jackson.
No seriously, I'm pretty sure it's him.
This Wednesday, Johto, the twenty-second of August, I invite you to join me in this event. Because I can tell you right now, these movies are so bad? They'll be downright Legen - wait for it - Dary!
[OOC: IC announcement for This Event]
My trainer's been acting really weird lately. Like, he's been acting like his usual self, but that's just an act. I think something's bothering him, but I don't know what it is. What's a good way of finding out?
And it's like, really bad. He hasn't even talked to the Joy here!
But Barney is filled with Christmas cheer. Despite being away from home, for the second time, he loves this time of year. And what better way to celebrate than by singing. And so, over the network, not unpleasantly, comes that classic Australian Christmas song:]
Six white boogers, snow white boogers
Racing Santa's sleigh through the blazing snot
Six white boogers, snow white boogers
On his Australian run.
Obviously, this means wandering around the Radio Tower and what should he stumble upon? But an open booth.
And so, over the radio waves of Johto comes this announcement.]
Good Evening Johto! Barney Stinson here, and y'know, I was thinking, this place is a pretty weird place. But I've been here a year, and I think I've figured things out pretty much. But it would hardly be fair of me to keep all this expertise to myself, so I figure I might as well share.
So call me with your problems and I'll give you all the benefit of my knowledge. On any sort of matter.
IDK how many people are aware, but the Log comm just hates sending me notifs for some reason. Because it does this, I end up having to check threads manually and that gets really annoying after a while and I end up dropping the thread due to pure annoyance with having to hunt it down and stuff. So, I'm going to try and circumvent it this time.
So, I'm going to be posting with Barney for most of the event and here's how it's going to work.
Barney and Larry have 2 costumes. The first is a devil and an angel respectively. And the second is a surprise. A treat and a trick if you will. The Devil and Angel will be active for most of the festival and this space is for that purpose. If you want to thread with Barney in his Devil costume, do it here. This way? I get the notifs and threads can happen and it will be awesome.
Also, if I tag you in the log, it'll be a tag with a link to this post, and I'll set up a specific thread for that purpose.
Also, also, if you want a thread with Roxas let me know here or on my plurk and I'll set something up here as well, just so that I'm not cluttering up stuff and what not.
I'll probably be slow with all tags and stuff, but hopefully, this system works well and we can backtag till the cows come home.
Barney is in Goldenrod, as is Roxas btw.
Happy Halloween Everyone!
[He indicates the pokemon, notably Marshall and Lily the Treeckos, who seem to be snuggling. There's also an egg in front of them.]
I mean, someone must've seen them do it, right? It happens all the time at home. And how do they lay eggs anyway? I mean, that egg is pretty much the same size as Lily. It's freaking me out.
[He stares at his pokemon for a little while longer before adding as an after thought]
I, uh, did it with the Joy in Ecruteak, by the way. Five Joys. I should be getting badges for that.
Hey everyone! Can you see this place? This is a completely unnatural landscape. Look at it. It's flat. Completely and utterly flat. There is nothing here.
[He waves the camera around to reveal the boring flat farmland. And more than a few Murkrows. Maybe an odd Houndour if they're around.]
This has got to be the most boring thing ever, and it's all I've been seeing for like two days! That's not right! This place sucks. I never would have left Goldenrod if I'd have known that this is what I would have had to deal with. I'm going nuts out here since there is absolutely nothing interesting here! Just farms and music and a whole lot of nothing. The music isn't helping by the way. Really, it's not. God this sucks.
[There's a sigh as Barney stops ranting for a bit and walks for a bit, the screen simply showing the road. He then stops and appears on the screen again.]
So, anyone know how long it takes to get back to Goldenrod from Oli-whatever?
[More walking and then another brief stop]
Oh yeah, I scored with the Olivine Joy, so that's four Joys now, what up?
[He goes back to walking for a bit. Think he's done? Not quite.]
Have there always been this many birds around?
As such, you will encounter one (1) Barnabas Stinson standing on the border of Olivine City, consulting a map. Every so often he reaches over to hi-five an Aipom.]
Geez Marshall, is that all you taught her? But let's see, I guess if I start walking up this road I'll get to a farm and then I turn left and that gets me to another city and...this is going to ---
[The last word doesn't come out because as Barney reaches over for another hi-ive...
And Barney is tumbling to the ground clutching his cheek. Stupid monkey!]
That was not cool! It's not even Slapsgiving, geez.
[And we'll stay on the ground wincing for a bit]
That counts, you know, that so counts.
[And Pamela Handerson, the Aipom is taking way too much enjoyment in this. WAY WAY to much.]
You know, Johto, I've been doing some thinking. And it has been way way to quiet around here. I mean, it's nice that I have a decent city to live in with a decent job, even though it isn't New York or my job, but I'm getting too stuck in a rut, and that's boring.
So, here's the plan. Saturday night? There's gonna be a party. I found this awesome club just off the main street and the I convinced the owner to let me rent it for half price! And this place has got everything so it'll be great. Although, you might want to be over 18 if you're gonna attend, since there's going to be alcohol and stuff
Make sure you come, 'cause it's gonna be legendary!
[Private Text to Larry Butz]
Dude, if you are in Goldenrod get to the Radio Tower right now. I will need your help for this party.
[ooc: strikes not said but implied. tags to come tomorrow morning]
Error. The number you have dialed is no longer in service.
[That's not right. Marshall was here. He was honestly here]
Error. The number you have dialed is no longer in service.
[He's going to keep trying for a while. Marshall can't be gone. He can't be alone again]
Marshall's gone home.
[Barney will be going off to mope now. Responses will come later.]
- attack of the killer pokemon,
- i can train pokeymans,
- i want to go home,
- i'm awesome,
- location: goldenrod city,
- location: radio tower,
- man is nothing without suits,
- man vs. pokemon,
- manly man,
- my poor suit,
- pkmn trainer barney,
- pokemon 1 man 0,
- pokemon 1 suits 0,
- pokemon: ledyba,
- pokemon: pidgey "robin",
- pokemon: totodile "ted",
- pokemon: treeco "marshall",
- this is not awesome,
- way to go barney
Robin, stop! Stop! Ted, no, don't use that!
[And all of a sudden, there's a blast of water, that really just succeeds in making everything wet. There are still blurs flying around. And to make a long story short? A angry ledyba found it's way into the Goldenrod Radio Tower. And after causing chaos in the lobby, found it's way into Barney's office. And of course the door closed so Barney's trying to deal with it. With a pidgey using gust and a Shuppet just having fun making a mess and a totodile just trying to help and poor Barney in the middle of it all not sure what to do. Until he finally gets an idea. Which involves coming out from under his desk, jumping on top of it, and grabbing the ledyba as it goes by. He falls to the ground, and you will now be treated to a few minutes of man vs. pokemon with the man clearly losing. At least until all his pokemon hit it with an attack. Barney lies there for a bit with the knocked out pokemon before sitting up.]
What the hell got into this thing? I've never seen one this mad, and coming into a building. I mean, even when I fought that....
Oh for the love of-- the stupid thing's ruined my suit! And this was my better suit to! Now what am I supposed to wear?
[and all previous thoughts are forgotten as we must deal with this outrage]
As I'm sure many of you know, I've made it to Goldenrod City, which the first decent place of civilzation in this world. It's even better, now that I've got a job at the Radio Tower. Who knew they were hiring in my department! It's like life's almost back to normal for me! It's awesome!!! And they pay pretty well to.
Although they seem to be hiring a lot of people. I've had like, three janitors come by my office today to pick the trash. It's really weird.
Oh, and you can add an Officer Jenny to the count as well, if you know what I mean.
That's about all...anything you guys want me to blog about?
[Feed switches to video]
Also, does anyone have a female Treeco? [He holds up Marshall the Treeco, who waves at the camera] If you do, would you be willing to trade for a Sentret? It's kinda important.
[The conversation seems to be about blogging and how to blog. Ted is trying to convince the Treecko to give it a shot. Treecko looks a little nervous, then gives a wave and introduces himself. Anything further gets cut off as]
Alright! Another win! Ted, Marshall, one more round and then we are eating well tonight! It's gonna be legendary!
[Barney looks like he's going back to the game, but then he notices the pokegear. He picks it up.]
Man, Goldenrod City is more awesome than I thought! They even have a casino here! It's so cool.
[Someone is gambling away his savings]
[Feel free to hit up either the pokemon or Barney]
Of course I didn't expect spending half of it stuck in a video game from the 90's. I'd like to say that stranger things have happened, but that really isn't the case. Looking back, I figure this may be some sort of punishment for me, but I think I deserve some forgiveness now. I already got hit by a bus.
Still, this world isn't bad. I mean, I finally made it to Goldenrod City, which is actual civilization. Streets, cars, skyscrapers, a bar, a casino. This place is awesome. And the girls here aren't that bad. Speaking of which, Junpei, 45, plus I scored with the Nurse Joy here, so 46.
I always like to have a resolution or two for the New Year. This year, I think I'll resolve to meet more of you lovely ladies on the network. And be awesome. Oh wait. I already am.
Larry - Gift certificate for a suit shop that he found. There's a location in Goldenrod as well as Violet, so suit up, bro!
Smoker - A bottle of imported beer from Sinnoh. It took him so long to hunt down.
Donald - A scarf that is striped with the colours of Huey, Dewey, and Louie's caps. So he can think of his nephews when he wears it.
Kaitou - A slightly tacky Christmas tie, to wear during winter magic shows.
Romano - An official looking document outlining the terms of the Slap Bet, so they can make it official. And a lump of coal, cause he thinks Romano belongs the naughty list.
Heather - A tacky Christmas sweater. Like, the most tacky one he could find. With glow-in-the-dark sequins.
And that's just...wrong. I mean, there's a lot of people who use this thing and I don't expect to know everyone, but I feel like I should know more people, or at least, be familiar with them. [specifically girls, but that won't be mentioned]
So, people of the pokegear, readers of Barney's blog, tell me about yourselves. Who are you? Where are you from? Whatever you want! Just make it awesome!
[This gets edited in a little bit later]
Figured I should have said something about myself. I'm Barney Stinson, from New York, New York, The United States of America. I've been here for about five months. I enjoy hanging out in bars, long walks on the beach and and I can play 83 musical instruments. I hold the record for the most weight ever calf-pressed, as well as in laser tag and good looks.
[Blurb lovingly borrowed from the back of The Bro Code, by Barney Stinson and Matt Kuhn. Which is an actual book and if you ever want to know how Barney thinks, pick it up sometime.]
[Crowds, what joy! And so many people to. This is exciting. So he's walking around Violet checking everything out, with Ted the Totodile dancing around behind him.
And is it just him or all those buildings that didn't have doors suddenly have them? And they're unlocked to! Well, might as well go check them out since this is a video game. So he goes into a room, a light clicks on, and Barney finds that the room is filled with Bidoofs and Miruhog. And they look mad.
There's a scramble for the door, which Barney flings open, only to be knocked to his feet by a sudden stampeded of the aforementioned pokemon. There is now a stampeded of angry rodent pokemon in Violet. You're welcome.]
What the hell were those?